Cheaters and/or Cheating

Once again, I haven't gotten any emails as to any problems that I can help people with, so this is another personal general advice post.

So, I ran into this very extremely common relationship roadblock, cheating.

(Not personally or in my own relationship, but with a friend's)

This is sadly a very common thing, people cheating instead of facing problems in their relationships head on and trying to fix it to make the relationship stronger. Cheating is a very cheesy way of sneaking around an easily fixable problem.

However, girls have this way of becoming extremely insecure when they are in a relationship because often times they (we, since I am one) fall hard and fast for the guy. When that happens they often become very paranoid when say, their boyfriend doesn't text back for a few hours. This is unfortunately common, I mean I myself have become paranoid when my boyfriend doesn't instantly reply to me, this happens constantly for girls, no matter how old they are, if they like someone it's nerve wracking for them for that person not to reply to their message.

But if you think you're partner is cheating the best thing that you can do is not to ask a friend or someone else to find out for you, but to actually take the "reins" in your own hands and take control of the situation. You need to confront your partner and directly ask them if they have been straying from the relationship and ask them if they can talk about it because if you honestly think they are, you need to voice that and be comforted with the truth.

(I honestly can't take full credit for the paragraph of advice above, my boyfriend actually gave me that advice when I was helping a friend out and planning on being the other person in the situation)

What the truth is, however, is up to the situation, but regardless whether if it's good or bad, it'll be a comfort, I promise.

If it's good (IE s/he's not cheating) then they know how you feel and now you two can talk about what you both can do to make it so those feelings don't ever surface again. However, if they aren't cheating, but they call you paranoid and say you're crazy then you, yourself, have to rethink that relationship, you have to rethink the stability of that relationship is because by them saying those things about you, they are saying that you caring for them is idiotic and therefore, you should leave because your care isn't being received properly.

If it's bad (IE s/he's cheating) then you just look at them and in your head tell yourself: "thank you for the experience", then take a calm deep breath turn your back and walk away because you don't need them. DON'T scream at them because they aren't worth it. Show them that you are strong and calmly walk away from that situation because you truly are strong and no one can break your strength, no one's that precious. If, however, tell you that they can and will change, just look at them and say: "I'm sorry, but I give second chances where they are deserved and I don't feel like my time, effort, and love are being appreciated. So, thank you for the experience and now I am going to try and find someone who will love and treat me like I deserve."

Not-So-Long-Long Distance Relationships

Since I haven't gotten any emails on any situations or any questions about anything that I can help people out with yet, I am just going to relay advice that I gave to someone a few months ago.

Okay, so a few months ago I was talking to someone who's in a very committed relationship, but she had just turned 18 whereas her partner had turned 18 months before that, this wasn't the problem however. This person I was talking to was feeling a tug in the relationship and not a good tug because they hadn't really spent that much time together seeing that her partner was off being an adult when she hadn't quite gotten to where her partner was.

What I did to help her, was I started talking about my situation at that time. My situation, of course, was more complicated than hers was, but through me talking non-stop about my situation for a few days straight, she was able to figure out what she needed to do with her relationship.

She told me she admired my dedication to my guy and if I could be that dedicated to him although I hadn't seen him that she could get past the slight road bump in her relationship.

I wasn't and still am not completely sure how my situation helped with hers, since it was the same only in principal, but I'm glad that it helped her out and I'm happy to say that they are stronger than ever from what I hear.

If you are in a relationship don't fret over seeing them every single day. If you truly care about and love one another distance and time can't separate you. I know it's nerve-wracking, believe me, I have been there where I pain because my boyfriend isn't near me (although it hasn't gotten to be that severe in a time), that is only natural because you love and care about them and always want to be with them.

If, however, they ended the relationship because it was "becoming too much to deal with the long distance", then it isn't you. Trust me, it's not. That just told you that they weren't the right one for you because if they are right for you, then distance can't separate you, nothing really can.

If you are a teenager and you are searching for "the one", please stop. You can't find them when you're young, although some people do, that's some people, not you. If you do, then that's great, hold on to them, but if you don't, don't stress you are young, you have time (coming from a teenager).