Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Cheaters and/or Cheating

Once again, I haven't gotten any emails as to any problems that I can help people with, so this is another personal general advice post.

So, I ran into this very extremely common relationship roadblock, cheating.

(Not personally or in my own relationship, but with a friend's)

This is sadly a very common thing, people cheating instead of facing problems in their relationships head on and trying to fix it to make the relationship stronger. Cheating is a very cheesy way of sneaking around an easily fixable problem.

However, girls have this way of becoming extremely insecure when they are in a relationship because often times they (we, since I am one) fall hard and fast for the guy. When that happens they often become very paranoid when say, their boyfriend doesn't text back for a few hours. This is unfortunately common, I mean I myself have become paranoid when my boyfriend doesn't instantly reply to me, this happens constantly for girls, no matter how old they are, if they like someone it's nerve wracking for them for that person not to reply to their message.

But if you think you're partner is cheating the best thing that you can do is not to ask a friend or someone else to find out for you, but to actually take the "reins" in your own hands and take control of the situation. You need to confront your partner and directly ask them if they have been straying from the relationship and ask them if they can talk about it because if you honestly think they are, you need to voice that and be comforted with the truth.

(I honestly can't take full credit for the paragraph of advice above, my boyfriend actually gave me that advice when I was helping a friend out and planning on being the other person in the situation)

What the truth is, however, is up to the situation, but regardless whether if it's good or bad, it'll be a comfort, I promise.

If it's good (IE s/he's not cheating) then they know how you feel and now you two can talk about what you both can do to make it so those feelings don't ever surface again. However, if they aren't cheating, but they call you paranoid and say you're crazy then you, yourself, have to rethink that relationship, you have to rethink the stability of that relationship is because by them saying those things about you, they are saying that you caring for them is idiotic and therefore, you should leave because your care isn't being received properly.

If it's bad (IE s/he's cheating) then you just look at them and in your head tell yourself: "thank you for the experience", then take a calm deep breath turn your back and walk away because you don't need them. DON'T scream at them because they aren't worth it. Show them that you are strong and calmly walk away from that situation because you truly are strong and no one can break your strength, no one's that precious. If, however, tell you that they can and will change, just look at them and say: "I'm sorry, but I give second chances where they are deserved and I don't feel like my time, effort, and love are being appreciated. So, thank you for the experience and now I am going to try and find someone who will love and treat me like I deserve."

No comments:

Post a Comment